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Reverend Borrower and the Jazz Club


Tater don't remember if he ever told you about Reverend Borrower. There's a lot of good stories about him, and now that he's in the Bakersfield Elderly Home with the Alzheimers, probly nothin gettin back to him and he won't mind Tater tells a story or two. One a Tater's favories is the one about when he was courtin Nora Elaine Lenderbee. That was one pretty gal. Still is, even at her age.

You know, it was in the 60s when Reverend Borrower had commenced to courtin Nora, and he wanted nothin more than to convince her that he weren't no ignorant country preacher, which he was, but never mind. So when he was up to the city callin after her, he got him a wild notion to take her to a jazz club to see the Charles Mingus quintet. Guess they was quite the thing back then. At least that's what Geech Meekers told the Reverend  when he was inquirin over to the barber shop. Geech runs the jaws of life for the Humbert Fire and Rescue, and he's seen a lot of life and death in his years. Plus, he had sideburns back then in the 60s, so he had him a reputation as kind of a beatnik and a jazz expert.

Anyway, the Reverend had got the tickets and asked Miss Lenderbee did she want to go, and she said yes, and that was just fine. Him and Nora got them a table and a bottle of wine and was drinkin it and listenin to the jazz, and Nora was snappin her fingers and swayin back and forth and Neethra was wonderin did he have a date with a wild gal and what would his congregation think. But Nora was real pretty and kinda sassy, and Rev. Borrower thought ot hisself "Why you gotta worry about what they think? Who's the boss, anyway, them or Jesus?" and he was pretty sure Jesus woulda liked Miss Lenderbee just fine.

So the Reverend relaxed hisself and was havin a good ol time, when during the saxophone solo Nora leaned over and whispered to him how she thought Mr. Dolphy looked like he was trying to squeeze one out. Well, Neethra was a little shocked, but he couldn't help it. He had drunk a glass of wine, and he was with a pretty gal at a jazz club and he was havin a good time and he commenced to laughin. Weren't long before they was both laughin, nevermind they was supposed to be quiet durin the music.

Now, those of you who know somethin about that Charles Mingus know he was a stickler for decorum, and he had quite a temper. So it shouldn't a been too surprisin that he made the band stop right there in the middle of the song so that he could dress Nora and Neethra down for ruinin his decorum like that.

The way Reverend Borrower told it, you would a thought Mr. Mingus was brought up in the French Foreign Legion from the language he used! The Reverend had never been so embarrassed in his life to hear that talk, and directed right at him and his date. The Reverend really weren't that worldly, so you can imagine his horror when Mr. Mingus insisted that Nora and him come on stage and tell the audience what they thought was so damned funny! Just like he was a little boy in school! The Reverend just froze where he was. Couldn't move, couldn't think.  But Nora was a bit bolder, and she done what Mr. Mingus asked and she come up right up there on the stage!

Well, when she told the story the band thought it was so funny that they commenced to laughin, and the more they laughed, the more the audience laughed, and the more the audience laughed, the more the band laughed, until they was all crying -- all except Mr. Mingus, who was fit to be tied!

Thank goodness Mr. Dolphy thought it was funny, and he was laughing harder than anyone, but he couldn't see Mr. Mingus' face. Just then, Mr. Mingus turned around and looked at Mr. Dolphy with a real sour look, and this made Mr. Dolphy laugh even harder. He was buckled over and gasping for air, cryin and heavin, when he made a sound like the low B flat on his tenor saxophone, except that he wasn't playing; he actually had squeezed one out!

Oh, Lordy, things was really gettin out of hand. As you can imagine, Charles Mingus was beside hisself with anger, and he fired the entire band on the spot. Then he come after Miss Lenderbee and Rev. Borrower with a broke off beer bottle! Well, sir, as you can imagine they hightailed it out of there. Neethra and Nora jumped into the reverend's Nash and sped off, gravel flyin, with Charles Mingus dancin around in the parkin lot and cursin a blue streak and wavin that beer bottle around.

That's all Tater knows about the story, cause the Reverend wouldn't tell him no more. But Nora and the Reverend did get married a few months later, so things musta turned out all right. Tater ain't never had him that kind of adventure while he was courtin. Hell, that's a fine adventure for any occasion! Anyway, there's a lot of stories Tater heard about Reverend Borrower, and he'll tell you some more some other time. Some folks just trip over trouble, and Neethra Borrower is one a them.