TaterPedia:Current events
From TaterPedia
- January 17, 2010 Ol Roy Cooter accidentally dropped hisself into the chipper last night, but his nephew Leroy has promised to take over as town drunk, soon as he's
old enough to drink legal. Services will be held at the His Right Hand Evangelical Quonset Hut at 6 this evenin. It's gonna be closed casket on account of the circumstances, but they's gonna be a private viewin of the slurry bucket a little before noon at the back booth of the Chick'n Fry for close friends and family.
- October 18, 2:00 p.m. Surplus Chinese bride auction this Sunday after church at the His Right Hand Evangelical Quonset Hut, 4th and Bridey in Lumley. Call Reverend BIOU at 575-941-2672 to place an advance bid.
- Mardene and Gully Croaker wish to announce the birth of some baby triplets, about three of em, at around 8 of a Sunday evening. Congratulations, Mardene and Gully! That makes an even dozen.
- Buck over to the Seed-n-Feed wants you to know that the last of the alfalfa hay will be sold off at $3 a bale to make way for the Christmas Tree lot.
- Looks like Bobby Dean Dobbson's ass cancer has flared up agin. Jenny Grimm over to the Duffy's in Lumley has generously offered the leftover coffee at the end of her shift for his treatments.
- Don't know how, but it looks like Doc Martian's got him some ass cancer too. If that ass cancer is contagious then Michael Alcandor ought to go into the Humbert Free Clinic and get hisself checked out.
- Tater just learned how to make tables in them Pedias.
This here table ought to sum it all up.
| Chinese bride sale | over, finished, kaput | Tater missed it |
| Mardeen and Gully Croaker | baby triplets | congratulations |
| Alfalfa hay | on sale | at the Seed-n-Feed |
| Bob Dean | Ass cancer | Yep |
| Doc Martian | Ass cancer | Yep. |
| Michael Alcandor | Ass cancer | Any day now |
| Jenny Grimm | Helpin out | She's a saint |
| Tater learned to | make tables | check |
| Roy Cooter drops hisself in the Chipper and dies dead. | slurry bucket | closed coffin |
- Looks like Doc Martian might have him a gal after a 40 some year dry spell. Some folks say she's all in Doc's head, but don't no one know for sure. One thing's sure, whether she's real or imagined, it's got folks round the holler excited. They even wrote some poems about it over in the Kern's Holler Contrarian.
- Looks like Susie the Floozie come back to the holler for a spell. Folks round here missed her mightily while she was gone. Roy Hooter tells ol Tater he saw her get took up by a saucer when they was performin an anusectomy on one of his milk cows, but they's other folks, ones got more sense'n Roy, say she gone up to Humbert to meet a feller and got carried away. Not by them saucers, but with some fine lovin. Tater ain't one to pry, but folks sure do talk, and usually the story got more sass is the one what wins out. The way Tater figures, everyone better off hearin the truth from that gal rather than thinkin she done got that alien probin.
- Susie has her an opinion piece in the Kern's Holler Contrarian on rocks, somethin the holler has a lot of, so it will be of special interest to a lot of Hollerians.
