Tales of Bob Dean #10
Bob Dean sat sulking on the
curb outside the Knights of Columbus hall, listening to the sounds of
festivities inside.
He saw the great master McLuhan approaching and became elated. If anyone would know how to get him invited to the party, it was McLuhan.
When the master arrived, he asked Bob Dean, “Why are you so sad?” “It is because I can not get into the party, Master” said Bob Dean.
“Have you tried crawling in through the window?” asked the Master. Bob Dean had not, but he was able to push a window open wide enough to put his head through. The window came crashing down on him, bludgeoning his skull. “Ow,” said Bob Dean, and looked pitifully at the Master.
“Have you tried climbing down the chimney?” suggested the Master. Bob Dean had not, but he climbed the fire escape ladder to the roof. When he got to the top, he got so excited that he broke into a brief celebratory dance, and danced himself right off the roof. He fell two stories.
Not yet completely discouraged, he implored McLuhan again, who said, “Have you tried sneaking up through the basement?” Bob Dean whooped, and, spying a cellar door, barged in. Master McLuhan then locked the door from the outside, dusted off his clothes and walked into the party via the front door.
He was immediately surrounded by friends and scholars, who asked him, “Master McLuhan, why are you so late for the party?”
“I had to make sure that shit for brains Bob Dean didn’t think of walking in through the front door like anybody else. I can’t shake that fucking tool no matter how hard I try. I tried killing him with the loose window and helping him fall off the roof, but nothing. He’s locked in the basement now.”
“The basement?” they gasped in horror. “But that’s where we keep the ass-raping gimp and all of his instruments of fiendish torture! He will surely be beaten mercilessly, and his ass will be reamed from here to eternity!”
“Oops!” said Master McLuhan.
And it was the greatest party he had ever attended.
He saw the great master McLuhan approaching and became elated. If anyone would know how to get him invited to the party, it was McLuhan.
When the master arrived, he asked Bob Dean, “Why are you so sad?” “It is because I can not get into the party, Master” said Bob Dean.
“Have you tried crawling in through the window?” asked the Master. Bob Dean had not, but he was able to push a window open wide enough to put his head through. The window came crashing down on him, bludgeoning his skull. “Ow,” said Bob Dean, and looked pitifully at the Master.
“Have you tried climbing down the chimney?” suggested the Master. Bob Dean had not, but he climbed the fire escape ladder to the roof. When he got to the top, he got so excited that he broke into a brief celebratory dance, and danced himself right off the roof. He fell two stories.
Not yet completely discouraged, he implored McLuhan again, who said, “Have you tried sneaking up through the basement?” Bob Dean whooped, and, spying a cellar door, barged in. Master McLuhan then locked the door from the outside, dusted off his clothes and walked into the party via the front door.
He was immediately surrounded by friends and scholars, who asked him, “Master McLuhan, why are you so late for the party?”
“I had to make sure that shit for brains Bob Dean didn’t think of walking in through the front door like anybody else. I can’t shake that fucking tool no matter how hard I try. I tried killing him with the loose window and helping him fall off the roof, but nothing. He’s locked in the basement now.”
“The basement?” they gasped in horror. “But that’s where we keep the ass-raping gimp and all of his instruments of fiendish torture! He will surely be beaten mercilessly, and his ass will be reamed from here to eternity!”
“Oops!” said Master McLuhan.
And it was the greatest party he had ever attended.